Tuesday, 22 November 2011

                            Dating in Cadboro Bay?  Don't Piss Off the Wildlife.

Our neighbourhood is infested by deer and sometimes they go a little nuts and chase people or gore dogs.  But it is not really the deer you should be afraid of. Be afraid of the women.....very very afraid.

So we joke all the time about needing voodoo dolls to deal with men who don't treat us or our friends in a respectful way.  Today the joking stopped!  Some A$$*&^) broke our friend's heart and then proceeded to stomp on it over and over again.  We decided he needed punishment and, given the laws of the land and my aversion to industrial laundry detergent, we had to find an indirect way to do this.

Thus was born the first "Pinhead" doll.  Lovingly sewn by hand by yours truly with the secret ingredient supplied by my partner in crime who performed the stealth act of stealing dirt from his yard to stuff the doll with.  

The doll is made of a durable but cheap canvas stuffed with toilet paper (well the real thing is full of $&^% but we had to use something more hygienic).  The following information came with her doll.

Dear "name hidden to protect the innocent";

The  "Name changed to protect us from a lawsuit" doll
Enclosed: One personalized doll and two pins
You have received this Pinhead doll because your heart was broken by a jerk.
Each doll is uniquely flawed just like the men that inspire them.
All Pinhead dolls are two dimensional, have extra-large heads, two sides (faces), a black heart, bejewelled groin( and no soul).
Each doll has a “little something personal” added.  (Note the mask is removable).
Pins may be stuck in the doll at will to relieve frustration and anger or just for fun!  Feel free to personalize your experience by experimenting with meat, tenderizer, knives, or other sharp implements (the possibilities are only as limited as your imagination).
Safety Note:  The dolls are flammable, in case that is your pleasure, but please recognize that you will only be able to do this once.  Perhaps wait a little while.

With love from the Fabulously Furious Ladies

OK and following are some pictures of her special doll but I have to block his eyes out to avoid recognition as he is so vain he'll probably think this post is about him anyway.

Front side of pinhead doll(I forgot to take a picture of him without his photograph face-it unsticks and underneath is two XX eyes and a tongue hanging out.

His "jewels"

His other side showing the second of his two faces and his black heart as well as his jewels.

I also didn't get pictures of him with the pins stuck in him but I didn't want to take away any of or friends fun.

And so men, if you feel a sharp stabbing pain in your eye, heart, jewels or ???? think about it...Who did you piss off?  And does she live in Cadboro Bay?


The FF (Fashionably Furious) Ladies

Sunday, 13 November 2011

Fashionably Furious-The Introduction

 This is the story of a whole bunch of women , all mothers of one age or another, teetering on the brink of insanity.  Fashionably Furious grew out of a series of phone conversations, play-dates, texts, cups of coffee , dog walks (with mushroom wrestling to be explained later).  Fashionably Furious is a collection of the daily antics and conversations between a web of women: friends, friends of friends and friends of friends of friends.  It is the one thing in our lives that keeps us all from going insane (although we act sort of insane). 

 Fashionably Furious began with one conversation between my friend Louise and I.  Louise's sons play hockey (mine do not).  One day I called Louise and asked her if she could loan me a  hockey bag.  One big enough to fit a 6'3" body (coincidentally my husband's height) or if that wasn't possible then two smaller hockey bags and a chainsaw.  Louise was more than willing to loan a hockey bag and anything else I needed, with no questions asked.  That is what friends are for.

Over the years the story of the hockey bag spread (think Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants with a really really dark side).  Texts, emails and whispered phone calls include the catch phrase "do you have the hockey bag".  This is code for HELP!! Life bites today!!  And somebody may die if things don't get better.  Even my mom will email me to ask for the hockey bag.

The picture above shows a smart bag that can fit a large "parcel" folded in two, has wheels for easy maneuvering and is sort of patriotic.

Over the years the network has grown and grown until one day in  a discussion with my friend Erin where the urgent need for hockey bags, ice pics and other "solution oriented tools" was being discussed the thought occurred that perhaps a boutique needed to be created that sold hockey bags in assortment of sizes and colours for the fashion minded murderess.  It was also discussed that shovels, ice pics, chainsaws, industrial strength cleaners and more could be supplied in a soothing and fun atmosphere.  And of course this collection of crime scene clear up equipment needed a suitable name.  And thus was born Fashionably Furious. 

Drop us a comment if you need the hockey bag and let us know size and colour( we are Canadian so despite spell check this is correct) preference.!

Check back soon